Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
