I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Send help, water and tortillas.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
