sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Randomize
