Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
