some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
