I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
