It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
