No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Barsexuality is the new black.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Found your dick twin last night
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
