Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
