If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
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