You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
