If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Randomize
