So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize