he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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