Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
