**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
