Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Randomize
