Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Randomize
