We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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