Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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