dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
