And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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