whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Randomize
