Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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