whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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