She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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