OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Is Oprah even human
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
