Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Randomize
