My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Randomize
