If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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