Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
