Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
