well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
