i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
