I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
