Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
