I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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