just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Randomize
