took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize