Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
