i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
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