I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Randomize
