Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
