I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
