i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
