I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
