Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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