i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Randomize
