A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
