You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
