well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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