i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize