Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
Randomize
