whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
