I'm lost and stupid without you.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
It's just like the Real World with babies
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Damn victory sex feels great
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
