I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
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