Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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