Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
