She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Randomize
