Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
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