I want to walk on stilts...naked
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
Barsexuality is the new black.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Randomize
