I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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