Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Randomize
